What Does Nervousness Feel Like?
Let's begin today's issue with a little exercise:
Think of a time when you felt very nervous. It doesn't have to be during a public speaking event – maybe it was an important exam, a meeting with your boss, or anything else.
Now, try to remember how that made you feel physically. Was your heart beating faster? Were your palms sweaty? Your mouth dry? Legs shaking? Perhaps even tightness in your chest or a wrenching feeling in your gut?
Be as detailed as possible, it will be important later.
Most people report a combination of the following symptoms, with varying degree of intensity:
- Elevated heartbeat
- Shortness of breath, hyperventilation
- Increased sweating
- Hot/cold flushes
- Shaking in hands and/or legs
- "Butterflies" in the stomach
- Upset stomach
- Dry mouth
- Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
The reason you experience these symptoms is because your body is switching into the Fight or Flight mode and is ready to do whatever it takes to stay alive. Since the brain cannot tell the difference between a real life-threatening situation and a made-up scenario, it treats any irrational fear (and fear of public speaking is 100% one of them) as a sign that you are in danger.
In the Fight or Flight mode, your body is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline. Elevated levels of these hormones are to blame for most of the nasty symptoms you experience when you feel nervous.
What Does Excitement Feel Like?
Enough with the negative stuff, let's talk about the beauty of excitement.
Shuffle through your memories again and think of the last time you felt truly excited. Maybe you were about to see your partner or a dear friend? Or, went on a roller coaster? Or, were reading an email with a job offer?
And how did that make you feel?
Let me guess. Heart beating fast? Desert in your mouth? Your whole body trembling? Sounds familiar, no?
(I really hope that you're going "huh..." right now because this is crucial for dealing with the fear of public speaking)
Repeat after me:
Nervousness and Excitement have the exact same physical manifestation
Both feelings induce identical biological reactions that lead to cortisol and adrenaline surge. So, if physically you feel the same, why do you sometimes call it "nervous" and sometimes "excited"?
The Obscure Difference Between Nervous and Excited
The difference is purely psychological and depends on the anticipated outcome:
We tend to use "excited" when we believe in a positive resolution, and "nervous" when we feel uncertain or less hopeful.
Any fear, including the fear of public speaking, keeps you focused on the worst-case scenario: your brain expects something negative to happen and prepares you accordingly. The good news is that since we're dealing with something psychological, you can learn to rewire your thoughts to feel more positive.
How?
Essentially, you need to find a way to believe in a positive outcome. Easier said than done, I understand, but there are some ways to trick your brain:
- Smile! Smiling activates a very particular set of muscles that aren't used for anything else. Even a fake smile signals the brain that something good is about to happen, eventually becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Focus on the good things that may happen. If you're out of ideas, think about how good it'll feel to get it over with, maybe?
- Say a few affirmations. Look in the mirror and say a few positive things, like "I know I can do this" or "I am certain people will enjoy hearing me speak".
- Build a ritual. Maybe you count to 10. Or, drink a cup of sweet tea. Or, wear a confidence-boosting shirt. Watch a funny video. Do a little dance. Whatever you will associate with bringing you calm and peace.
- Practice breathwork. Certain breathing patterns have been proven to slow down your heartbeat and thus lower the adrenaline level which ultimately leads to feeling less agitated.
Rewiring your brain doesn't come easy but these little tricks can help you with all fears, not just public speaking. For example, I use breathing exercises to calm myself while on a plane and always put a smile on my face when entering the stage.
With a little practice, these things will begin to come easy, and you will notice a difference.
Good luck!